I’m not really sure what’s going on in my head right now, but I figure that if I write out my thoughts it’s possible that something good will come out of it. I can never right my wrongs unless I write them down. I’m not sure if I’ll find a resolution or if I’m just blowing of steam with no end in sight.
It’s just past 11PM. I’m at work right now. Thinking. Pondering. Contemplating. Wondering why I feel this way. I’m not sure what it is, but I just haven’t been feeling myself. I won’t say lately, because I’ve been feeling this way for a while. I’ve been masquerading behind…. nothing… or myself. See there isn’t much need for hiding when nothing is seeking you.
Ever since I moved to Michigan and finished out my high school career, I’ve been basically a loner going through the motions behind life’s shadow. I played sports when I got here, but I didn’t build a bond that goes outside of the game or school. I don’t drink, smoke or party, so I was mostly at home or near it in my neighborhood just siting around waiting for the next day. That was my junior and senior year at Canton High School. Then I was excepted to Michigan State University.
I came to State in the fall of ’09 and instantly fell in love. I didn’t visit before I decided to come. I wasn’t even sure if college was for me, but I blindly came. I didn’t/haven’t made friendships nor connections of any sort in college and my grades are sub-par. WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING AT SCHOOL?!?!?! I know that’s what you’re thinking. It’s what I was thinking. I wasn’t partying AND my grades aren’t good. I’ve been wasting away here, right?
The jury is still out on that one.
It’s now six past midnight and I’m not sure where this is going, but I’m feeling a little better. I’ve been lonely. I guess that’s my point here. It’s loneliness. It’s sadness. My happiness is only found in working, sports and music.
I haven’t had much to do with sports, athletics or working out recently.
I have an amazing team that I work with in music. Our collective’s name is NDX and we are working hard on new material. Another team that I’m apart of is Glove Up Nation that consists of some of the same NDX members. Even music hasn’t been able to get me as excited as it once did.
I’ve been working on producing for about a month; transitioning to more behind the scenes work and I find myself to be quite joyful when engineering and producing, so I’ve stopped rapping and writing as much. I still love rapping and writing, though, so I’ll be doing a lot more to work on my craft as a whole and not focusing on only writing, only producing or only advertising.
As you can see, I’ve found a new love and appreciation for different aspects within music – my sanity.
It’s time to wrap this up now as I’m sure any person that is still reading this is bored out of his or her mind by now.
I believe that life is mostly what you make it. For the past few years I haven’t played my cards correctly. I’ve been given an okay hand, but I keep folding when it’s time to ante up. I must stop making excuses and live my life to the fullest. To the (probably two) people that have read this far and are going through anything remotely similar, know that you are not alone. We all have the power to control our happiness. Do it.
It’s now 12:47AM and time for me to make my rounds again.
Feel free to email me, tweet me or contact me on facebook through my fan or personal page if you need a friend or a pair of ears to rant to. I’m here for you. You don’t have to go through it alone. We all hit rough patches (or canyons), but giving up is never the answer. As always, I’m All About Progress.
NO MORE EXCUSES. BE HAPPY!!!
Talk to you soon
17-year-old Moose dropped his sophomore mixtape last Friday, June 15, 2012 and it was incredible. He is a talent that you don’t want to miss out on. I can see Moose having a home here on JReidMusic.net
From the first verse on this mixtape, Moose delivers thought-provoking rhymes coupled with hard-hitting lines. He definitely sets out to differentiate himself apart from today’s bubblegum rappers with the first track ‘All In (Remix).’ Moose definitely feels as if he is on a top-tier that few reach in hip-hop. He gives insight into why he started rapping and the things most important to his life while talking about his recording lifestyle. Moose keeps up these topics throughout the mixtape, cementing these facts into your mind.
‘Lost Ones (Remix)’ dives a bit deeper into Moose’s feelings. The first line is “We used to be all good, now all we ever do is argue”. Something anyone that has ever been in a relationship can relate to. Without spoiling the story, Moose tells an excellent tale about the ups and downs of relationships. I need to get a hold of J.Cole to show him this beautifully constructed remix.
‘Jealousy’ and ‘Duke Westlake Cypher’ are both filled with metaphors, punch lines and dope beats that will leave your heart beating intensely. These two are the type of songs that you workout to and they will be on your playlists asap. I’m so hype after these two songs it’s crazy. Just Listen.
‘Unthinkable (Remix)’ is Moose’s deepest song on this tape – right before ‘Lost Ones (Remix) and Tell Me (How You Feel). I’ve heard this song a while back on YouTube and I love listening to it. It’s very introspective and will likely provoke a self-reflection of your own. This is one of his best songs. I won’t talk any more about this song, just do yourself a favor and go listen to it.
‘Mixed Emotions’ is another profound self-reflective song. Leon Hayward is featured on the chorus and he really adds a dimension to the track that couldn’t be reached by Moose. Moose is faced with a choice of music or a woman. He struggles with finding the perfect balance between the two and this song is his way of sorting out his Mixed Emotions.
I didn’t write about every song, but they definitely could have all had separate write-ups. This 18-song mixtape should absolutely be in your media player.